Moon Recordings

Good Morning. I hope you have all recovered from the sight of a new Siphuncle masterpiece and the news of more to come (see previous)?  Now I would like to change words and talk about his inventions and discoveries. I may even try and recreate some of his most famous experiments. I probably wont though. To begin with I will discuss his famous moon recording recordings.

The audio recordings of the moon (1918-1921) were made in their entirety. The Rev had patented a long-distance audio recorder, much like a telescope but for the sounds that he called "noises". Although no evidence of design plans remain the device is thought to have constituted a modified diamond-tipped gramophone recorder mounted on horseback. The recording trumpet was a tube of undetermined length full of

"mirrors and charcoal and that sort of thing for magnifying and purifying and magnifying and purifying the soundnoise in that order". 

The device initially worked well but was plagued with backgrounds. His first ever subject, the Archbishop of Bethnal Green, spoke about his experience in his 'Experiences with the Rev Fanoire Siphuncle' Experience Book (1939):

'I was asked to ascend Mount Hereford (in the Bogswolds) and to wait there with my signalling mirror and candle-lamp. It wasn't a perfect night, the wind almost blew my mitre into a ravine.The Rev was standing on one leg at the peak of Throughputt Hill (over 50 miles away) with the horse-mounted device . I could see his signal clearly despite the howling rain. The whole process was completed very quickly and I spent more time climbing the peak than the recording.'

'We communicated during the hour by light signal codes. The Rev asked me to make several pre-arranged noises which were very specific. He would make angry signals with his mirrors if I deviated from this or tried to insert any of my famous animal impressions, such as the African Bird-Eating Bee, or Hudson's Paraquat Ape.'

The recording of this strange night is now in the British Museum of Folly along with the Moon Recordings. An excerpt of this recording is below:

Recording of Archbishop of Bethnal Green

Further recordings followed, each one increasing in distance until a limit of a few hundred miles was reached. The curvature of the Earth prevented progress and led to the decision to go straight for the moon.  From the notebooks of the Reverend:

'It was the first clear night for three weeks. It had rained mostly through November and I was delighted that the clouds had dissipated in anticipation of the Birth of our Lord. An historic recording of the moon was now in the balance. Things went pretty well - a few adjustments and I was able to get what I hoped would be a good recording very quickly. I tucked the copper vinyl disc under my arm and began to make my way back with the moon expediently presenting my own shadow for me to follow.'

'Upon settling back into the lab I put the vinyl on straight away. The initial crackle caused an unquenchable excitement within me as the disc rotated, hissed and hummed. Success! The recording seemed excellent. I am not sure how to interpret what I have heard but clearly these are genuine moon sounds!'

The recording is presented below

Moon Recording

At the time the recordings were ridiculed as nonsensical, absurd, hilarious and a practical joke. However, in modern times these adjectives have been replaced by more modern expressions of incredulity such as boggleforth, bafflicating, poppycockerel and "very silly".

In response to this negative reaction Siphuncle did what he always does...he temporarily disappeared. He returned sometime in the spring, arriving naked on horseback to reclaim his parish from the temporary replacement Rev David Wensleybottom*. His work from then on concentrated on a new type of technology, that of nuclear power. We shall read more about that next time in the next blogisode.

*Rev Wensleybottom would go on to commit various acts of genocide in Rhodesia whilst hiding in a dustbin. He was sentenced to prison three times but never went.